Let go of the past.
It sounds so easy doesn't it? Why can
past experiences creep into our minds and take over our thoughts? We all have past experiences that we wish we
could either change or forget. These
experiences include everything from past mistakes, relationships, or people
that have wronged you. Our minds will
often wander and try to figure out what we would have done differently.
Sometimes we focus so much on the past that we forget to live in the present.
Eventually we have to let go of the past, if not it will consume you.
You Cannot Change the
Past
We have all heard the saying, “If I could do it all over
again.” The sad thing is that you cannot
do it all over again. It is hard to come
to the realization that some mistakes and experiences cannot be changed. The
moment you leave the past in the past you will have a clearer focus on the
present.
Learn From It
Although we cannot change the past, we can use past
experiences to help shape our future. If
you were surrounded by someone who brought you down, you now know the type of
person you do not want to be. If you
made mistakes, you know now not to make those same mistakes. The best thing we can do is to take these
experiences and learn from them. Even if you do not realize it, these experiences
have helped shape who you are today.
Forgive
Forgiveness is essential to letting go of the past. Not only do you need to forgive others from
your past, but most importantly you must forgive yourself for past mistakes. If
you do not forgive the ones that wronged you, you are holding on to some ugly
monster known as resentment and hatred. Through forgiveness, you help rid
yourself of the burdens from your past.
Letting go of the past is not easy, it is easier said than
done. Even when you think you have let go, the past will sometimes sneak back
up and rear its ugly head. Just keep in
mind that the past cannot be changed, learn from it, and forgive yourself and
others. Your past will always be a part
of you, but never let it control you. Your past is also filled with good
experiences, those are the experiences you should hold on to and cherish.
What are ways that you deal with bad past experiences? Is
letting go of these bad past experiences something you have already
accomplished?
I've never really been convinced, nor truly believe right now, in the idea of letting go. I think for me it has more to do with being mindful than carrying around a ball of angst and resentment. There's a kind of muscle memory with visceral experience. You can feel your skin crawl. You can reflect and have tears be brought to your eyes. I often want to know that I'm still capable of feeling or the reasons I felt something had such a big impact on me in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea of forgiveness let's people off the hook for being responsible for themselves. I think from a personal insecurity, we don't allow ourselves to objectively judge something or someone as better or worse than anything else. I think that it's easier to give people something better to believe in than it is to persuade them that it's all fun under the sun if you can forgive and forget. I'm very sensitive to the idea of denial. And that always comes across as more a denial and shift then a focus on how/if a situation can be made better.
"The past" is as much right now as anything else. In every memory, in every habit. If we got technical about brain synapses, that's all we'll ever experience. I think bringing all the lessons and hardships from the past into our present is the only way to get the kind of perspective that can keep them in check. It's one of the reasons I've started falling for old movies. For as much information as we have today, we forget what it has meant to be human and where that humanity has gone in a million different contexts.
I believe you can let go. As you grow as a person, you realize that these bad experiences made you who you are today. I was letting these past experience affect my daily life. When you have a person in your life telling you that you are not good enough for so long as a child, you form that resentment and even hatred for that person. Living like that is not mentally healthy. The whole post is about letting go of the past but you never have to forget the past.
ReplyDeleteBy forgiveness, I was referring to forgiving them for yourself not actually forgiving them directly. This is for your sake because that person knows what they did and will live with that the rest of their life. Like you mentioned, forgiveness is letting them off the hook but by forgiving them in your mind it helps you to move on.
I think it's a semantic thing about "letting go." I had something of a shitty parent with enough mental turmoil lofted my way growing up as well. I'd still burn her house down. But, it's not like I spend an unhealthy amount of time carrying on about how terrible she is.
ReplyDeleteI suppose forgiveness just doesn't do anything for me. You lucked out.